These are my musing, thoughts, ideas, etc. around al manner of things. I don’t update as often as I would like to, but you may find something of interest here from time to time.
Why I Hate “The Common Cold”
The Common Cold is the most dishonest of the viruses. The Cold will lie to you every damn time, whereas with The Flu, Covid, Marburg, or even The Chicken Pox, you know you’re sick.
No question at all.
Those other virus dudes are quite direct in their approach. They simply punch you in the fuckin’ throat and body slam you to the floor, where you are staying until they are done with you.
But that slimy weasel, The Cold, well he lies to you… “Oh yeah Pat, you took all that NyQuil and got a good night’s sleep, you are feeling great this morning. You should go for a run!” **
That sneaky bastard will even let you take a shower, get dressed, lace up your shoes, and stretch. Then, as soon as you are like ten feet out the door, he will yank the carpet out from under you, smashing your freakin’ head on the curb, and you will have to crawl back home, hoping you have enough strength to reach up and turn the doorknob in order to try and make it to your bed before you die.
Having a Cold is a lot like watching a cat play with a mouse. Glance away for a moment, and when you look back, you have a mouse with a missing head and a cat that’s sitting there calmly licking its paws like he’s king of the living room.
Yeah, you just can’t trust “The Cold”, it’s a lying dirtbag of the first magnitude.
Don’t be fooled!
Ok, that seems to be all the energy I have for a rant this morning. I am going to try and sneak under my own backstabbing Cold’s radar long enough to get back upstairs to bed, take some more drugs, and crash.
Happy freaking New Year.
** Let’s be clear here. Pat does NOT run for anything that is not life-threatening. If you see Pat running, you know something VERY bad is chasing him, and you should probably run too!
Messin’ with the AI
Me
If it takes half a hen half an hour to lay half an egg, how long will it take a grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?
The AI
If it takes half a hen half an hour to lay half an egg, we can infer that the hen is quite inefficient at egg-laying. Let’s break down the problem:
- Half a hen = 1/2 hen
- Half an egg = 1/2 egg
Now, let’s consider the grasshopper with a wooden leg. While grasshoppers are not typically known for their pickle-kicking abilities, we’ll humor the scenario:
- Grasshopper with a wooden leg: This is a unique and somewhat whimsical creature. We’ll assume it’s determined to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle.
Given the lack of specific information about the grasshopper’s kicking speed or the pickle’s seed count, we’ll have to make some assumptions:
- Pickle Seed Count: Let’s say the dill pickle contains 100 seeds (because round numbers are convenient).
- Kicking Speed: The grasshopper’s wooden leg might be a bit clunky, so we’ll assume it kicks at a moderate pace.
Now, let’s calculate:
- If the grasshopper kicks one seed out every 5 seconds (since it’s a wooden-legged grasshopper), we can find the total time:
Total time=Number of seeds×Time per kickTotal time=Number of seeds×Time per kick
Total time=100×5?seconds=500?secondsTotal time=100×5seconds=500seconds
Converting seconds to minutes:
$$500 \, \text{seconds} = \frac{500}{60} \, \text{minutes} \approx 8.33 \, \text{minutes}$$
So, it would take the grasshopper with a wooden leg approximately 8.33 minutes to kick all the seeds out of the dill pickle.
Keep in mind that this is a playful and imaginative answer. In reality, grasshoppers don’t usually kick pickle seeds, and wooden legs might not be their preferred mode of locomotion! ???
Dipper
Just wanted to post a shot of my best boy and constant companion, Dipper. My furry buddy, who is constantly teaching me what is best in life.
A Tale of Simplicity
An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.
“How long it took you to catch them?” The American asked.
“Only a little while.” The Mexican replied.
“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The American then asked.
“I have enough to support my family’s immediate needs.” The Mexican said.
“But,” The American then asked, “What do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”
“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”
“But what then, senor?”
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”
“Millions, senor? Then what?”
The American said slowly, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”
~ Heinrich Boll (1963)
Quote of the Week
“That was a hot mess inside a dumpster fire inside a train wreck.” – Jake Tapper, CNN
Visitors
I had seen some signs that we might have a raccoon visiting the back deck, so I set up the trail camera to see if I could catch him wandering through. I was really surprised to find we had a whole “Gaze” of them. I suspect it is a little family of three. I love raccoons and wanted to share in the hopes it might make your day a bit brighter.
Bastille Day!
This morning was awesome and so very apropos given today’s date. So, in celebration of my own liberation I say to you –
“Vive la liberté en cette journée de libération! Je vous souhaite le meilleur!”
** (Long live freedom on this day of liberation! I wish you the best!)
PS – I don’t speak French, so please forgive any grammatical errors… 😉
On a new path…
After much introspection during my recent sabbatical, I’ve decided to embark on a new journey. On August 11th, I will step down from my role as IT Director at the city, a position I will have held for thirteen years and one day.
This journey has been nothing short of extraordinary. I’ve had the privilege of meeting incredible individuals, learning invaluable lessons (some of which were very unexpected), and contributing to my community and those who needed me.
Now, I find myself yearning for a fresh start, a new challenge. What that looks like, I’m not entirely sure yet. But what I do know is that it must align with my deeply-held values – the belief in the transformative power of technology, the importance of diversity, the courage to question the status quo, and above all, the practice of kindness. I’m seeking a role that excites me, nourishes my spirit, fuels my creativity, and allows me to share the wisdom I’ve accumulated over the past three decades with a people-first organization whose mission I truly believe in.
As I stand on the precipice of this new chapter, a quote by Lao Tzu resonates deeply with me:
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
I am thrilled about the possibilities that lie ahead and can’t wait to see where this journey takes me.